is this the only word i am allowed to use?

Ok so I deleted more than 100 entries in my blog and never blog since then... but today i feel like i wanted to write something because i cannot bare this feeling anymore.. I wanted to share what I feel at the moment anyways he doesnt know I have a blog anyways. 

You see I have been seeing this guy for a long time now and we had such the greatest connection the whole wide world! He makes me happy in every aspect of my life, when i am down he always always put a smile in my face, I can see his sincerity and good intention on us. And I think he is the most FAITHFUL guy i ever met and will ever meet in my entire life! When we talked we always just laugh and laugh which i find soooo goood. Never a dull moment with him. But yeah we're just friends special friends that is which is i am cool with that as i am so careful with my heart too. I dont wanna rush things and besides its hard in our situation.

Anyways ~~~~~~~ I MISS YOU... YOU ARE SPECIAL...TAKE CARE..KISSES..I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH... these are the words i am allowed to say.. why? because i am a girl and a girl should only wait first to a guy to say the very strong word I love you... pfffttt i wish i am a guy... i hope he knows that when i say "i miss you" means i love you..

a mother and daughter bonding

Just sharing the photoshoot of me and my Vinnerie.

ENJOY.

some things are not meant to be

Just a little update, Me and Allen broke up actually some weeks ago but dont want to put it here until i finally ready to talk about it. Well this is life. There are some things which are not really meant to be no matter how hard we tried to save our relationship... i guess love is not enough in order for a relationship to survived. Sure love is very essential, it is the core heart of a relationship but there's more than that...  He feel like he was dragging me down which is true, Hes' been suffering something which i cannot put it here coz its private, its not that i dont love him much thats why i choose to broke up with him its just that~~~ i cannot explained it but  i am sure  he knows that no matter what he will always stay in my heart. He's been so good to me the sweetest man I ever had. .. anyways this is my life journey and whatever it is at the end of the road, i am excited to find out.

INFIDELITY ....

Trust is an essential element to any relationship.

This lies at the heart of a strong relationship.

But, once that trust has been abused, it will be

very hard to rebuild that into the relationship.

Let's say that you have a relationship for some

time and you really love your partner. Although,

you have been caught having an affair by your

girlfriend. No matter how she caught you, she saw

the messages from your mobile, she heard you

talking with the other or saw you together, you

have to deal the situation if you really want to

save your relationship.

Infidelity causes intense emotional pain, anger,

disbelief, fear, guilt, shame; but an affair

doesn't have to mean the end of your

relationship.

Here are some useful tips that may help you save

your relationship:

- end the affair - first of all you must end your

affair; if you choose to stay with your

girlfriend, you must end all interactions and

communications with the other

- be honest- open communication with your partner

it is very important; if she caught you in the

act and she know now that you have been

unfaithful to her, you have told her already many

lies, so now you must confess; don't deny,

because this will make things worst;

- apologize - even if you like it with the

other, show your girlfriend that you are sorry

for the pain you caused her and promise her that

you finished your affair; convince her that you

really love her and you don't wanna lose her for

a mistake

- talk to her - if she wants to know all the

details, you've better tell her even if she will

be hurt, and let her vent her hurt and anger; she

will tell how she feels more than once but you

should understand her and listen; remember that

it is your fault that she feels like that

- identify the issues - identify often points to

underlying problems in your relationship; examine

your relationship to understand what has

contributed to the affair;some people cheat

because they aren't getting their needs met

inside their relationship; if she ask you why you

did it, don't be brutal; say it the truth but in

a diplomatic way

- be accountable - if you had an affair you must

take responsibility for your actions

- give her some space - you both need a break

from the emotional stress; you'd better discuss

after she's calm down

- rebuilt trust - start with small opportunities

to grow closer together; after infidelity,

communication becomes incredibly strained; but if

you don't communicate you can never heal and

build trust again in your relationship

- determine your shared goal - make sure that you

both want to save your relationship

- set groundrules - decide both some rules for

the future in you relationship so that both feel

safe and secure

Sometimes after passing trow a situation like

this, the relationships becomes stronger than

ever before. But, if it happens that your

girlfriend doesn't want to forgive you for what

you did, and want to end the relationship, you've

better respect her decision.

AN ANSWERED PRAYER and other stuff

God is really great!! in my latest blog entry i posted that i prayed and asked God something which is really special and guess what? He answered my prayer today!!!! Thank you God! I dont know what i did to you that you are so good to me.. u always gave me whatever i asked you. THANK YOU THANK YOU!! im so happy seriously ;=)
I remember my favorite quote from my ever favorite author Paulo Coelho which state that "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"  this is really true because it seems like whatever i want in life in which i really wanted with all my heart is all coming true..u just have to believe it and God and the whole universe will gave that to you.



LAst March 24, 2011 my angel Vinnerie just graduated from Nursery with flying colors!! yep yep yep u heard it right!She is so smart just like me LOL..and she is very talented i am so thankful God gave me a daughter like her.I can never ask for more. 


Maybe one of the reason why i am happy because i dont have any anger towards anyone. TO those people who hurt me in the past i already forgiven them and guess what? Life worth living when u have a pure and forgiving heart. Just months ago i really hated someone, i even cursed him.. 3 weeks ago we started communicating, he said sorry and i forgive him and thats the start of our beautiful FRIENDSHIP. He listens to me and gave advices, he is not a bad person i used to think.. he is actually very nice person and a very good friend. I'm happy with whats going on with his life now.


so i guess this is it for the moment. 
ciao!

I SAY A PRAYER today

This photo is taken today at the prayer room in San Pedro Cathedral, Davao City

Life is really like a wheel..sometimes you are on the top and sometimes down. Things these past days is not that pleasant compare to the last days.. I dont want to elaborate things because there are things which i want to keep it to myself but there's only one thing i can say.. "LOTS OF CONFUSION" 

And today i ask the guidance and peace of my mind to my creator..to help me deal with what is happening to me right now. Things are really complicated.I prayed in the prayer room for hours!!imagine..hours..but i did not even realized that i spent so much time there! i was talking to God..and i guess i was carried away by our conversation.. of all the things that i've been dying to tell HIM, to ask HIM that when i came out the prayer room it was almost dark. 

Although im the type of girl who always asked God for guidance but this time its different..because i did not only asked for guidance but i asked Him something really special..I've been asking him the same thing for the past 3 weeks now..Oh God please hear my prayer! Pleaseeeee... 

ok so i dont know what to write anymore.. i just really hope God will answer my prayer..but if not then i am sure there is a reason for everything and another lesson learned! Please Lord i just want peace of mind to every person involved and i hope whatever the decision maybe it will be for the good of everyone. I love you God! and thank you for everything!

LOVE IS LIKE A TRAFFIC LIGHT

i found a video in facebook about love pain and letting go and the message struck me because i can relate to it. The message is written in Filipino and  i translate it in english so everybody understands. When u read this please listen to the background music i set for my blog because thats the exact video that i am talking about. So here is the translation.

Traffic Lights (Written by Sarene Cas)

Love is like a traffic light, there are three colors which becomes a guide for us to know when to stop, to let go, and to take action.

STOP…

Loving someone so much doesn’t always mean they’re the right one for us.Loving someone doesnt always lead you to a happy ending… because true love never ends…

There are times when you would feel the pain brought by your love.It’s painful to think that there are persons who don’t know how to treasure the ones who love them.

They say…

It’s better to accept the fact that you are not appreciated than to insist yourself to someone who never sees your worth. ’till you keep on loving that person, the more you’d get hurt.

Because…

You are afraid to accept the reality…that the person you love is blind to see how much you love him/her…

Loving that person doesn’t really mean that he’s/she’s the one for you…You are afraid to lose the one you love so much…But, is he/she too afraid that he’d/she’d lose you?

LETTING GO...

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. There are things in the world that are not meant for us. The things that we yearn so much to have… could be the very things that we could never have…

You need to learn to ‘let go’ so that we can move on and get over the pains of the past. Loving someone…is setting them free… letting them go…Yes… for someone like you who loves…You might say.. ‘Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away..And going away means forgetting…’To let go is not to deny but to accept… The hardest thing to do is letting go…not because you want to…but because you have to…

There are people who will come in our lives to lift us up from the agonies of the past…Let us not close our heart because we got our hearts broken before..Just remember there is a person who is ready to mend our broken heart and enter our life

TAKE ACTION...

While someone breaks your heart, someone else is waiting to fix it…Proceed with caution. ‘Careful forethought to avoid danger or harm…We were afraid to get hurt…We were afraid to face what could happen…We were afraid to love again…That’s why… the word ‘courage’ became famous…‘Coz that’s what we need to take action…If the traffic light has a yellow light for ‘caution’…It’s the same in loving…if we know that we’d just get hurt and not meant to take the lead…Then..Let’s not wear ourselves out…

Let’s not force ourselves to fit in, in an elevator that doesn’t have space left..Let’s not force ourselves in…There’s a ladder for us to use, we just don’t want to notice it…

Stop…

Let Go…

Take Action…

Traffic Light…